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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394746">I don't want to bother you, but those girls want us to kiss ... and secretly I want it too.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaryav/pseuds/Zaryav'>Zaryav</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Fanfiction as a Guide to Love [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Flirting, Bisexual Evan Hansen, Connor Murphy as Sirius Black, Cosplay, Evan Hansen as Remus Lupin, First Kiss, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I did this before I knew jk was transphobic, Idiots in Love, Jared Kleinman is the narrator, Jared Loves to shipp Connor with Evan, Let's pretend that this eye pain is Jared Kleinman's fault, M/M, Potterhead AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 01:57:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaryav/pseuds/Zaryav</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor is dressed as Sirius Black for this convention and there's an attractive boy dressed as Remus Lupin, who's obviously Sirius's true love and he could be Connor's true love if he were to come talk to him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Fanfiction as a Guide to Love [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I don't want to bother you, but those girls want us to kiss ... and secretly I want it too.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a small writing that was inside another as a fanfiction written by Jared Kleinman, however it is not necessary to read the previous one to understand it, as it's totally independent.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Actually, Connor Murphy doesn't usually use things like Post-it notes for anything other than stupid penis drawings that he can't help but throwing at his homophobic teacher during his horrifying chemistry class, and instead he prefers mental notes; probably just because it's used to score slightly more realistic penises.</p><p>But even if Connor doesn't use mental notes for anything other than penises, Connor can still remember an attractive or minimally cute boy when he manages to grab his attention among a crowd of teenagers dressed as My Little Pony characters, especially when this "Cute boy" is dressed as his second favorite Harry Potter character, Remus Lupin, who isn't very secretly Sirius Black's life partner, or at least is who Connor thinks he should have stayed with because they were damn obvious.</p><p>And Tonks is only the female version of Sirius, of course she looking much cooler and less "<em>I haven't had a shower in a decade.</em>"</p><p>And although it doesn't explain much, that's why he has these girls who, after asking him for a photo with him, beg him to go with this cute and blond guy to do fanservice, but Connor isn't a complete idiot and he knows he can't just get there with any guy and say something like, "Hi, can we grope so these girls can snap pictures of us that might or might not end up on some porn page? What? Oh, no, no, no. I don't watch porn, ptf."</p><p>However, Connor isn't foolish enough to miss an opportunity like this. It's not every day that he has an almost perfect pretext to approach a demonically attractive boy. So he decides to walk up to the adorable blonde boy who has the most lost expression he's ever seen.</p><p>And that's completely spellbinding.</p><p>"Hello," says Connor holding out his hand. He almost feels like the urge to move around this guy like in a wrestling ring forces him to move and he doesn't. You cannot do this. "I'm Connor, and you?"</p><p>The boy turns completely red before responding with the highest voice he has ever heard. "I'm Evan, Evan Hansen, ah, that was too much information, I-I didn't need to say my full name because, uh- you didn't do it and that was stupidly weird, like, sorry I'm just going to go a-around here."</p><p>Connor smiles before reacting to what was the most adorable and bizarre scene he has witnessed in his entire long life of seventeen years and three months. Connor stops Evan's moment of flight by holding the back of his hand.</p><p>Evan appears to be nervous when he turns to him, but now he seems aware of the fact that Connor is dressed the same as Sirius Black. He didn't need to buy a wig like most of the boys had because that was Connor's natural style.</p><p>"Listen," Connor says in a whisper that he knows a quieter place would sound like the madman screaming in the middle of the hall. "These girls want to pay us to do some Fanservice. And this is weird, I know." Connor slides his hand over his now embarrassed face because this situation was less embarrassing and humiliating in his mind and what the hell was he thinking about? "But you're dressed like Remus Lupin and the two of them are like, a big shipeo around here and-"</p><p>Connor listens to the girls make some screams from where it seems to be too obvious a hiding place. Evan takes his embarrassed gaze off the ground only to see the group of teens with hormones afloat and blushes when he realizes that this whole situation isn't going to end well at all.</p><p>"It's okay if you don't want to, but I just wanted to ask because it's like, just a kiss and it's close to eighty dollars for that, so ..."</p><p>He doesn't get an answer right away. In fact, Evan stirs around in his place in an awkward way, like he wants to escape from this place, and rambles around making little sounds that sound like babbles in which Connor can barely make out a few words.</p><p>"You really don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought this could be something fun or whatever-</p><p>"It's- it's okay if we do it- like, if you still want I can do it ..."</p><p>Connor's stomach flutters as if inside him he has a million fireflies wreaking havoc with everything inside him and hastening his heart to the point of making him think he will have a heart attack at any moment because this beautiful boy agreed to kiss him. And of course, there are eighty dollars in between, but who cares?</p><p>"There's only o-one problem..."</p><p>"What a problem?" Asks because at this point it could be anything. Evan could be upset by his makeup or maybe his breath smells bad, which wouldn't make sense because he brushed his teeth fifteen minutes ago after eating a hot-dog.</p><p>"I ... I've never- I've never kissed anyone. I don't know how to kiss." Evan appears to be about to hyperventilate. "I understand if you want to leave because this will be horrible anyway, and I'm ho-horrible and I know you want those eighty dollars, but I don't- I don't know how to kiss because nobody has ever wanted to kiss... me."</p><p>"Hey, take it easy, man." Connor brushes his fingers with the back of Evan's hand. "Okay, not a big deal, you'll do fine, okay?" Evan nods just a little more relaxed when Connor rubs his shoulder for support.</p><p>Connor turns to see the girls and while they don't even care about him he's supposed to be doing this for them and not because he's a damn fool looking for excuses to kiss cute guys at geek and weird conventions.</p><p>"Are you okay with this?" Connor can hear the girls running to huddle in a circle circling both of them with the cameras pointed at them to start selling their totally consensual public humiliation. But Connor can't help but feel like he's doing something horrible to Evan.</p><p>"Y-yes..."</p><p>"Like, one hundred percent sure?" Evan nods dubiously and almost hurt by what appears to be Connor's attempt to avoid kissing him. "I just want to make sure you're okay with this."</p><p>"I am."</p><p>"Okay, fine, good ... great."</p><p>Connor hasn't kissed a lot of guys because Zoe says a lot of dating is needed for that and Connor has never had a lot of dates. Connor isn't going to pretend that he doesn't know why this happens because he's actually totally unaware of how unattractive a drug-addicted looking gay guy is or whatever. However, this seems to be the main draw for a person who's doing a Sirius Black cosplay.</p><p>Connor hasn't kissed many guys, but he knows how kissing works. And although he's generally drugged when he kisses other boys, he knows the routine.</p><p>He puts one hand on Evan's hip and the other on the nape of his neck seeking to shorten the distance between their bodies. Connor can feel Evan's body tremble under his touch and he can hear the girls getting excited about the closeness of the kiss. However, Connor also remembers that this is Evan's first kiss, so he doesn't want to ruin it by making this a total bogus failure.</p><p>So Connor just kisses the corner of Evan's lips before parting and meeting Evan's closed eyes.</p><p>The girls behind them reproach and one of them reluctantly comes to pay him the eighty dollars alleging that this could have been hotter while Connor looks at them with indignation because the older one seems to be barely fourteen years old and although he knows he should be Wondering where the hell this group of girls got eighty bucks from, he's now busier looking for Evan who seems to have fled the awkward situation and barely felt Connor far from his body.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It takes him at least an hour to roam the entire place to no avail of finding Evan anywhere, which actually surprises him, because Evan's not the type of guy who would go unnoticed under Connor's eye.</p><p>However, he gives up because he's too tired from wandering aimlessly, and the place will close in ten minutes and Evan most likely has already gone home. And he's not going to lie saying that he wouldn't have liked to get to know Evan more deeply or that him didn't hurt to see the boy running away from him like he had the black plague. So he just goes to the bathroom to remove the makeup from his eyes.</p><p>There's hardly anyone in the place anymore, which is good because it finds the bathroom empty and that means that he will not have to wait hours before being allowed to use a sink. Connor rushes in and takes the makeup remover out of his backpack to remove the base and the eyeliner that has been itching for the past half hour.</p><p>He's so immersed taking off his makeup that it takes him five seconds to realize that the boy next to him is Evan. The same Evan whom he kissed more than an hour ago.</p><p>"Finally I find you! I've been looking for you for the past hour." Connor exclaims turning around to see Evan. For his part, he seems to back away, passing the mandala of his robe over his eyes, wiping what seems to be traces of tears. "Are you okay Evan?"</p><p>"Me? Yes, e-everything's fine." Evan laughs bitterly before trying to evade Connor to get out of the bathroom. Connor stops him by taking him by the shoulders.</p><p>"You don't seem to be fine ... is it because of the kiss?" Evan looks away, and that says it all. "Sorry, Evan, I shouldn't have forced you to do something you didn't want to do just because I wanted to."</p><p>"You wanted to do it? For- for the eighty dollars, right?"</p><p>"Well, that was just my pretext ... actually, I think you're very handsome and- I wanted to kiss you, I'm sorry." An awkward silence grows between the two of them and all they hear in the lonely bathroom of a geek convention is the announcement that the place will be closing soon. So without saying a word to each other they both leave the bathroom to leave the convention.</p><p>The way to the exit is just the two of them walking shoulder to shoulder until they are outside and people have started to disperse in the parking lot. Evan looks around awkwardly and Connor does too because he doesn't know if he was rejected at this point, but he assumes yes. And honestly, what was he thinking?</p><p>"Did you really want to kiss me?" Connor didn't realize at what point Evan dragged him behind the building in what seems like a much more private place under the evening sky. His mother is going to kill him if he drives the car too late.</p><p>"God yes ..." Connor laughs in a goofy gasp. "I mean, you're too handsome and you're dressed like Remus, so..."</p><p>"I'm not handsome." Evan mutters without giving Connor permission to totally refute that idea because only an idiot would call Evan ugly, and it's not that he thinks Evan is an idiot, but he has a point. "You're handsome ... and you're disguised as Sirius Black."</p><p>Connor laughs.</p><p>"I'm not handsome at all." Connor admires the pretty color the pink rays of heaven give Evan's skin, a lovely accompaniment to his flushed cheeks. "But you are, and I'm sorry I kissed you like that."</p><p>"I wanted to be k-kissed by you, it's just ... I thought you didn't want to kiss me because of the way- I mean, it seemed like you didn't even want to tou- touch me."</p><p>"I didn't want to take your first kiss from you like that." Connor slides his hand between Evan's hand intertwining his fingers. The other boy smiles at him, biting his lower lip. "However, I realized that you were crying in the bathroom."</p><p>"Ugh ..." Evan buries his face in his hands, leaning against Connor's chest who brings him closer in a hug too tight for the taste of either of them, but that they incredibly like. "I panicked because I ruined it with you."</p><p>"There's nothing ruined."</p><p>"I gave you a bad kiss and then I fled to a uh, a bathroom where at least seven people yelled at me to let them in." Connor kisses Evan's head with a laugh.</p><p>"Why don't we put those eighty dollars to good use and agree to go have a milk shake with me tonight?" Evan grimaces apologetically.</p><p>"My mom will be here in a few m-minutes." Connor bites the inside of his cheek. "But maybe- maybe another day... I mean, If you want."</p><p>"Another day sounds good."</p><p>"Super good." Connor laughs. "Maybe I should give you my phone number for that."</p><p>"God, yes."</p><p>Actually, Connor Murphy doesn't usually use things like Post-it notes for anything other than stupid penises drawings that he can't help but throw out at his stupid chemistry teacher, and instead he prefers mental notes; but he can make an exception to write down Evan Hansen's number just this once.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's horrible, but I'd appreciate hearing your opinion or receiving a kudo if you at least liked it a little.</p><p>And don't forget that I love you if you support the trans community and trans non-binaries.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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